The Golden Elephant
by The King
Summary: Lupin and Fujiko have just stolen a very valuable gift to a queen. Zenigata keeps coming up with new traps for Lupin. Fujiko/goemon secret Main pairing: Lupin/Jigen Rated for:Yaoi/rape, Language/violence and other stuff!
1. Chapter 1

**The Golden Elephant**

-Chapter One-

The golden, teasing prize was just sitting there. Looking very stealable. Almost edible, but he knew he was far too unsatiable for anyone to understand his kind of hunger. It just had to be taken though, It had to. If they didn't take it then they'd be breaking there unspoken law of taking everything valuable. And they damn well weren't going to start breaking traditions now.

_'The Museum Of Fine Arts' _it was called. What a joke. Wouldn't be so fine after Lupin got his fuzzy hands on it. He stood there, his toothpick legs leading to a rather fat, but jolly belly. Yet another disguise. His dark skin plastered his chest. It was open in a v. He looked fairly odd, some people might look at it, but he blended in exceedingly well. His dark sunglasses went perfectly with his white suit. His mustache was crisp.

The thin glass was the only thing between Lupin and that damn elephant. He knew how easy it was to get it. They didn't keep very tight security on this one because this wasn't the real one. A fake. Any _real_ thief knew that. The real one was about thirty feet down, probably being cleaned for tonight's grand opening of the majesty's gift, being given to her by Sir Anthony XI. A relative of sorts. He was really there looking at it to check out every detail of it. Even though it was false replica of it, it was still an exact copy. And he was happy to be getting it also.

The details were engraved nicely, with the upmost professionalism fit for a pharaoh. It would go nicely for Lupin's little collection. His date, Fujiko was next to him, arms connected. "Too easy." She said, smiling a little blandly. She was right, it was. And not only that, but it's a queens!

I suppose it paid no heed to underestimate him though, nor her. "I almost feel guilty." he said lightly laughing. She let his arm go, after winking at him seductively. Making his eyes form into big, pink hearts. She then left, to inspect the area. It was famously big, well known Nationwide, oversea's, anywhere you name it.

She went downstairs, and opened a door that was labeled; _Manager._

After 'mysteriously' taking his keys to the center downstairs, she responded by signaling to Lupin, "Have the car ready when I depart."

She went in the room.

She came running out carrying a wrapped elephant.

Running outside, Lupin was there with the car as she asked. He smiled, and she pecked him on the cheek. The alarm was sounding throughout the industrious building, and people were running around looking for some 'cat' lady. Able to move through everything they set out, the security said obviously losing there cool on the whole disastrous situation. They didn't get paid nearly enough for this stuff.

Lupin set the car in gear and sped off.

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The Police's favorite classy inspector Koichi Zenigata squatted in front of the crime scene. "Do we have any leads on who took it?" some random detective said behind him, looking for any apparent clues absent in the area.

"Of course we know who did it!" He yelled, throwing his arms in many different directions. "Arsene Lupin the third. He steals everything and we havent been able to catch him yet! But I thought of another perfect plan for him! He surely won't be able to escape this one!" Zenigata laughed almost evilly. Even though we all know he is the most gentle of all creatures. He couldn't hurt a fly, and that's what made him so gullible to Lupin's traps.

Even though it was the darkest of all secrets known to man kind. Zenigata admired Lupin.

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After returning to a hotel somewhere, Fujiko got in the shower, leaving a very aroused Lupin to sit on the bed. He heard the water turn off, his thoughts then ran very wild, seeing a very naked Fujiko in front of him. Her asking him to take her. And him gladly doing it.

She opened the bathroom door, to walk out in a very small towel. She trailed by him, swaying her sexy curves just to make him show his appreciation a bit, but in reality she was just a tease. Nothing more. She would never sleep with him, no matter how much she kept acting like she would.

Lupins mouth fell open. "Oh come here!" He said drooling. He went to hug her, missed and hugged a lamp. It seemingly took him a while to notice that. She was already dressed when he looked up. He was about to go and fondle her again, when the door opened revealing a smoking Jigen and an irritable Goemon. What was with everyone interrupting his sex time with Fujiko? Damn.

Goemon, slightly blushed at Fujiko but shook it off and went to sit by the window. He folded his legs and his fingers were barely touching eachother. He started to mediate. Nothing new I suppose.

But something weird was happening with Jigen, and he didn't know what. He seemed different, and didn't know why. Was he mad or something?

"I have to run a few errands." Fujiko said at last, breaking any uncomfortable tension. She put her hair down and opened the door, she slammed it on her way out. Whore. Lupin sadly knew what she was really doing.

"There's someone that took something very important of mine, and I want it back." Goemon said, he frowned and went out the door also slamming it in the process. That bastard was probably hooking up with Fujiko. But he would never say anything about it though.

So it was just Lupin and Jigen now.

Lupin was still in his striped, blue boxers laying spread out on the bed. He tried to talk to Jigen but he was just by the open window, smoking of course. He gradually blew the thick smoke to answer some of the questions with a yes or no every once in a while.

Lupin looked strangely good right now. Like something that should be devoured. Wait. WHAT?!!?!?!!?!?!?! Did Jigen just think of homosexual fantasies of Lupin?! Yeah he was losing it. He had to get some fresh air. Yeah that was it. The air.

He slowly got up, getting a confused look from Lupin. Walking over past the _bed. _he accidentally brushed against Lupins leg, making him shiver. Lupin wasn't really paying attention. He wrapped his arms around himself to stop the goosebumps traveling to every pore in his body. It was like liquid ice, and was descended from Lupin.

Just a touch.

Lupin slowly looked up, and his eyes grew wide with shock.

Jigen let his hat fall over his brown eyes again. That's all he needed. A look of desperation.

Jigen opened the door, and went outside. He needed another smoke.

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Hey people. This is my first story on FF! I have to warn you. This fic is Lupin/Jigen. So sorry if you dont appreciate it. I love Lupin the third. Im going to update soon! Whenever my teacher's stop giving me hell for me getting into fight's at school. hah. I doubt they will. I love yaoi btw.

-Ryuu

BY THE WAY! READ AND REVIEW!

I'll update soon. See you next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**The Golden Elephant**

-Chapter Two-

Jigen thought things over as he smoked on his cancer stick. Too bad they weren't even aware that it affected the lungs at the time.

Why did he get those thoughts? They were for some reason arousing though. As much as he didn't even want to think about thinking of the thought. Because this was Lupin we were talking about, a skinny, furry ape. One with only an eye for curvy, loose women. As annoying as that may be. Why couldn't he have better taste? Like in hard-to-get women, or even men interested in him. You see, wait, what??

Oh no, not the whole men thing again, damn it. Why?!

Jigen was not a homosexual. He just wasn't, he thought it be a disease, that maybe your born with, and he also knew that people that were gay kept it 'in the closet,' and thats how the whole phrase got so known. But I don't know. Maybe it's because Jigen hadn't gotten any in a while, which was amazing, because back in the day, he was some kind of man whore, bedding any women he felt like having.

I suppose that was then and this was now.

Now as a sign of withdrawling from life he resulted to smoking, all the time, oh to wonder what condition his crispy lungs were looking. Well we already knew, they were probably failing at the moment. Hn, to be as nieve as they were back then.

He threw the cigarette away and went back inside to find a rather passed out hair-looking Lupin. Oh wait. He's always been hairy.

The man was now under sheets, how Jigen wondered what lingered under those sheets, ah shit. No. No he didn't. He just needed a drink. Yes, he needed a drink, thats a splendid idea he told himself.

**Jigen P.O.V-**

Why the hell can't I stop thinking of that stupid freak back at the hotel, I try to think of other things but nothing's coming to mind. Damn, what a bastard. A mind controling bastard. Yeah, thats what he is.

Is this how Fujiko invades his mind all the time? What the hell, and why at this random time did this happen?

Was it infatuation?

Maybe it is.

I don't know anything anymore. And the thing that sucks if I feel that something's missing.

My aim hasn't been square like normal, and I've been feeling slightly depressed. I mean, not suicidal, but a little under the weather emotionally. What the hell is this fruity fruit doing to me? I just need out, I keep telling myself.

I lock the door before leaving, and walk out, then stop right in front of the door, which bar should I head to?

Hmm, one with lots of women, so maybe I can get laid, and get my mind of the fuzzy freak in the room behind me. I walk to the right, walking down the sidewalk for about half a mile, wow bars are close around here.

I walk in, and it looks normal, its called John's Keep. Whatever the hell that means. There are some people, and then I see the jackpot, a bunch of cute ladies staring my way, some of them waved. Lucky me.

I sit at the bar and order some liquor, screw the beer.

I get some Scotch, and downed it wincing at the sudden intrusion of alcohol. It's been a while.

"I'll take the bottle." I say.

_Meanwhile, back at the hotel-_

**Lupins P.O.V-**

Dumb bastard thought I was asleep. Well I wasn't. Kinda awake especially after that look he threw at me from earlier.

What kinda look was that?

Oh yeah.

Lust.

The look I've been giving Fujiko for the longest time, and yet she still rejects me without a second thought, it seems, she doesn't mind fucking Goemon though, which kind of hurts me, I've always been a gentlemen who wants to molest her day in and day out, but so what?

Who wouldn't?

I mean her body matches her face. All beautiful and natural. Which is my kind of woman. But what about Jigen? Could he be a...Naw...

But could he...

No...

Of course not. Jigens as straight as a tree. But even trees have ridges? Right? B-but? He couldn't be that way. I mean, I don't even think I'm that way. I don't think, and I remember that time he freaked when I was going to help him breathe again?

I don't think he is a queer. But something inside me kept saying that he was. Which scares the hell out of me. Hmm, its been over an hour since the guys been gone? I wonder what he was doing?

--

_At the bar..._

--

A very wasted Jigen was sitting with the ladies now and had a constant blush staining his cheeks, oh god. This wasn't going to end well.

"So you really have a gun?" A blonde asked with eyes wide, looking at him and all her intoxicated friends. "Your goddamn right I have ones..." he said laughing, he pulled the thing out making the girls lean back.

"Hey, Jigen. Lets get out of here." said a redhead. She was smiling seductively.

Jigen needed to hear no more. He grabbed her hand and they went outside, in the parking lot next to her car they were roughly making out. Her forcing her tongue past his teeth, and him not really minding it. She grabbed his tie and pulled him closer.

Then all of a sudden he felt like shit.

Why did this feel so wrong? Like he was getting away with something really naughty. It didn't feel right is for damn sure, he then pushed her back making her smile in confusion. "What's wrong?" she said.

"Umms, I's gotta go. Buh byes." He said waving at her with his hat. She was saying something but he was too drunk to listen in.

He then started drunkenly running to the hotel.

--

Lupin had honestly fallen asleep by now, that is, until he heard a loud pounding at the door.

"God, I'm coming hold on..." He sleepily went to the door, he opened it to feel hot lips covering his own.

What the hell...

Lupin couldn't react, was Jigen kissing him?

Jigen then pushed him inside to fall on the bed, closing the door on the way. Before the kiss broke, the door was open revealing a very angry Fujiko, and a serious looking Goemon.

Ah shit...

--

There you go wife...

I'll update whenever the fuck I feel like updating.


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